Panda & Human Foolishness

//I delivered this speech on 19th August Loudspeakers meetup.

//this is unedited

 

“Panda”

What comes to your mind when you hear the word ‘panda’?

Image result for panda

“Extreme cute animal which those black glimmering eyes” that’s the first image I believe we all get in our head

The second thing can be “the achievement of human beings in helping an endangered animal”

 

 

Really, the way the scientist has saved pandas is really commendable! It’s an achievement that we humans have enough knowledge to save a naturally fucked up species.

Let me explain a bit, how much fucked up pandas are!

The body of the panda is designed for a carnivorous diet! Their paws are developed to hunt small animals. And yet this animal somehow decided that he would only eat bamboos & would use his claws only to hang from the bamboo trees., Seems like pandas are the “Jains” of the animal kingdom!

We have no idea why all pandas decided to become herbivores when they are designed for carnivore food!! The pandas don’t have digestive system likes herbivorous animals like cows, they can’t even digest bamboo & yet they eat only bamboo!

Since they can’t digest bamboo they get very less energy by eating it, and the result is, they spend 14 hours a day eating around 15kg of bamboo a day ! And they sleep a lot so to conserve energy!

 

This is not even all; pandas are soooo fucked up that they decided to stop reproducing! Seriously! Who doesn’t loves sex?  No one knows why they don’t reproduce! They just decided not to do it!

The panda conservation societies actually have to inject Viagra & other hormones into panda to make them horny enough to reproduce!

Take a moment to think about this magnificent species

  • For no reason they decided to turn herbivores
  • For no reason they decided to stop reproducing

 

Panda’s actually become endangered due to these habits, they were at the verge of existence, someone the Chinese people decided that they won’t let it happen.

And today we have plenty of pandas.

China cleared vast areas of natural forest just to grow a bamboo forest for pandas. The entire top biological scientist there is busy on pandas!

Thanks to efforts of wildlife authorities, In 2015, the panda lost the title of endangered species.

But there’s more to the story, after 2015 the efforts to save pandas have only increased . And this is where things went wrong.

Just think about it,

Why are we saving a species (by investing billions of dollars) which is no more endangered?

& by the way, panda’s do no good for the environment, they can’t survive in forest by their own, they only thrive in a safe environment like reserved bamboo forests where they face no predator.

Basically, to keep pandas we cleared vast natural forest; we made thousands of animals to save panda.

I am not against this panda conservation; I am against exploitation of natural forests etc to save a animal which is no more endangered.

There are 2 thousands plus native endangered species in china , yet they only decided to save panda and that too with such a big level, investing billions !

And even now when they are not any more endangered, they are still investing on pandas. Why will you invest so much on a particular non endangered species when you have so many other endangered species to save!

And here comes the cuteness of pandas in play.

Everyone loves pandas. Millions of tourist visit china every year just to have looked at panda in their natural habitat. Every zoo on this earth wants to have panda because people would visit the zoo to see the panda hence increasing their profits & pandas are sold to other zoos in millions of dollars.

Basically, saving pandas is a great business! The Chinese didn’t save panda just because they felt it’s their duty to save a critically endangered species, they saved it because they know they will earn billions from pandas!

 

Saving & maintaing population of pandas, require millions of rupees, top specialists & doctors, areas of forest !

We could have thousands of other species just by investing the same resources we are currently investing in pandas!

Pandas play no role in environment, while the species like bees & butterflies maintain whole forest & gardens! And yet no country or institute ever tried saving them!

Just because pandas are cute , they attract people , they raise profit of zoos. We saved them !

This is human foolishness

Today we have knowledge and opportunity to save thousands of other endangered species & yet all we are doing is to save a fucked up cute animal.

Hundred years from now, our future generation would laugh at our foolish & will talk about how we let thousands of species die to save good for nothing panda.

I am ending this speech, with a hope

With a hope that from now onwards  whenever you hear word panda, apart from ‘cuteness’, the other word that will strike your mind will be ‘human foolishness’

 

Thank you 🙂

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6 thoughts on “Panda & Human Foolishness

  1. Oh, I’m rather disappointed that you had to resort to using cuss words to describe this lovely animal.
    😦
    We could also have used that money to save human babies.

    Romans 10:9-13; John 3:16-21

    Like

  2. “Take a moment to think about this magnificent species

    For no reason they decided to turn herbivores
    For no reason they decided to stop reproducing

    Kind of like vegan hipsters, who I shall henceforth refer to as Pandas. Thanks for the insight!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Pingback: Pandas – The Home for Wayward Statisticians

  4. When I think of Pandas I think of the Chinese word for it-熊猫. It kind of means ‘Bear + Cat’. So it makes me wonder..is Panda really a cross between bears and cats? 😛
    Btw completely agree with you. Too many resources are being spent by the Chinese govt to save this species which is not so endangered anymore yet they don’t give one fuck about saving the critically endangered Yangtze river dolphin (Baiji). It’s another example of how the Communist govt spends money in absolutely unnecessary ventures.

    Liked by 1 person

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